Conscious uncoupling yes, constant bliss, no. Gwyneth Paltrow appeared on The Drew Barrymore Show and admitted that while she and ex Chris Martin co-parent well, it’s not always as smooth as it seems.
She told Barrymore that they’ve stayed a unit for son Moses, 14, and daughter Apple, 16.
“It's like you're ending a marriage but you're still in a family. That's how it will be forever,” said the actress, 47. “Some days it's not as good as it looks. We also have good days and bad days, but I think it's driving towards the same purpose of unity and love and what's best for our kids.”
They also had guidance. She said she was “really lucky” that she had a doctor who gave her and Martin “a rubric for how to” co-parent successfully — namely, “You have to have radical accountability” and “know that every relationship is 50/50.”
“No matter what you think, how you think you were wronged or how bad you perceive the other person's actions, or whatever the case may be,” she explained. “If you are brave enough to take responsibility for your half and really look at your own garbage and your own trauma and how it's presenting in the world and in your relationship, then there really is somewhere to go and something to learn and something to heal.”
Paltrow added that process has made her appreciate family in a new way: “You are also holding the other person in this sphere of humanity. We are all part good and part bad. It's not binary — we are all gray area. We all are trying our best. I really wanted my kids to not be traumatized, if it were possible. Chris and I committed to putting them first and that's harder than it looks because some days you really don't want to be with the person that you are getting divorced from. But if you're committed to having family dinner, then you do it. And you take a deep breath and you look the person in the eye and you remember your pact and you smile and you hug and you make a joke and you recommit.”
For Paltrow, one of the “interesting” parts of the whole process is that she feels “in a way” like “my divorce and my relationship with Chris now is better than our marriage was, so I think that it can be done.”